
It's human tendency to place worth on temporary things like love, career, money, or status. Even though common, this misplaced worth can lead to insecurity, burnout, and heartbreak. Things like relationships, money, other worldly possessions are not bad--in fact, God wants us to have an abundant life. The dangers come when we tie our worth and strive for these things. True worth is found in a secure, unshakable foundation rooted in God’s Word.
The Cost of Breakable Worth
What is breakable worth? It's any thing or situation that is temporary such as a job, relationship, money, power, or status. While we may work hard to get and sustain these things, the reality is that we may lose them. Either of our own doing in choices that we make or due to external circumstances. You can do a good job at work, but be laid off. You can love your spouse, but they fall in love with someone else and leave you. You can make excess money, but invest it improperly.
We tend to put on this act of perfection in order to gain some type of applause or acceptance. When you find your worth and value in anything other than God, it opens you up to putting on a show that is fake because you think people are more interested in that than in your real life and self. The good news and truth are that you don’t need to be perfect for God—you don’t have to earn his love. We may not be called to be perfect, but God is perfect, and his love is perfect.
"The ultimate sign of foolishness is when you see the pride of life take over—thinking your life matters because you are what you have and are worth what you do."
The temporary and fleeting nature of these things makes the loss even more detrimental. When you let others, material objects, or position define you and your worth, if you lose them, your sense of self-worth may be damaged even further and leave you feeling hollow.
You become a shell of a person when you lose things like a job or marriage. In my case, I lost both at the same time. I know how it feels to be so overachieving, thinking that you are the smartest and wisest, only to look around and discover you aren’t. Even if you are for a moment, it can be fleeting and isn’t secure.
"This foolishness can eat away at you if you let it, slowly gnawing away, bit by bit, until you have nothing left on the inside."
Shifting Your Foundation to Something Unshakable
If we look at the biblical perspective on worth we will see that the Bible shows us that God’s love is not earned and does not waver with circumstances. When we replace temporary or breakable worth with the eternal worth found in Christ we anchor our identity in God's perfect love and truth. Living for God’s applause, not human approval means that even when things are lost like marriages, jobs, or money, we still have trust in the One above. Remove just one letter -- "eXternal" for "eTernal" and you'll see the shift in your foundation when the focus changes.
"The good news and truth are that you don’t need to be perfect for God—you don’t have to earn his love."
Here are four ways to reframe your relationship to worth.
Reflect on Your Current Foundation
Where are you placing your identity and self-worth right now?
Are you in a prosperous season or a dry season?
Rebuild Your Identity in God
Develop daily habits to stay rooted in God’s Word (e.g., prayer, Scripture meditation).
Remind yourself of God’s promises about your worth.
Recognize Your Worth Beyond Accomplishments
Celebrate progress over perfection.
Find joy in God’s grace rather than societal measures of success.
Practice Humility and Vulnerability
Be real about struggles instead of putting on a "perfect" act.
Open up to trusted friends, mentors, or a faith community.
How Life Changes When You Shift Your Perspective
Your confidence in your worth will remain stable despite external losses. As you remind yourself of God's promises to you, you will trust that this loss or experience doesn't define your worth or identity. You'll be able to live in freedom and embrace authenticity without the need to perform. Often times, we grow deeper in our faith and build resilience in challenging times of loss. Trust that even in loss, God’s love and purpose for you remain constant.
It's vital to remember that loss, while painful, can also be a catalyst for transformation. It can lead to new beginnings, opportunities for personal growth, and a greater appreciation for the blessings in your life. As you navigate through these experiences, you may find that your perspective shifts, allowing you to see the beauty in the journey and the lessons that come from it.
Real worth isn’t found in what you do or what you have, but in who God says you are. God’s love is unbreakable, and so is the worth you find in Him. Shift the external to the eternal.
If you are struggling with self-worth after divorce, my book Wings to Rise above Divorce goes into more detail on how to build your worth on God's love for you.
Comments