Singles Awareness Day can feel like a gut punch after Valentine’s Day—but it’s actually a powerful opportunity to celebrate personal growth and fulfillment. When you're divorced, you may find it difficult to reconcile your former married life and your new, single life. You can reframe this day as a time for self-reflection, healing, and stepping into a thriving, purpose-filled life.
Whether it's on singles awareness day or any day after your divorce where you are feeling like "single" or "divorced" become your identity, let these messages remind you that you are not defined by your relationships status.
Singleness as a Season of Strength, Not Lack
Singleness can be a time of deep personal growth and purpose. We tend to think this before we are married, embracing singleness and using that free time in ways we may cherish. But when you are divorced, becoming single again may not feel like an opportunity. This time after divorce you can once again embrace self-discovery, independence, and adventure instead of feeling like you're in limbo. Even if your divorce is taking longer than expected or if you cannot imagine the good from situation, look to God for giving you His wings to heal you and help you rise again. This time can be used for God's glory and your good, bringing you closer to Him.
Your worth is not determined by your relationship status.
If you have to press on after divorce, you can do so knowing that you aren’t alone and that God’s love is with you as you advance to the life he has in store for you. You can move forward, not looking back to get stuck but to learn from what happened and how you will treat a future relationship differently.
Boundaries: Protecting your Peace and Emotional Well-Being
When you go through a divorce or are single, you need to set boundaries with family, friends, and the dating culture. This comes in the form of dealing with pressure to re-marry again quickly or avoiding toxic relationship cycles you may have embraced in the past. You may even pick up new, bad habits. Following a divorce, you may be tempted to do whatever you want thinking it doesn't matter anymore, but that is not true.
It can be difficult to protect your emotional energy in a world that glorifies relationships. When you learn to understand the difference between healthy vs. unhealthy relational boundaries in dating, friendships, and self-worth, you will become more content and thrive in your singleness.
It’s never too late for a new beginning. No matter where you find yourself in your relationship—struggling in marriage, suffering through a separation, or finding your way after divorce—instead of focusing on timetables and arbitrary milestones, ask God where He would have you go.
Healing from the Past Before Stepping into the Future
Taking the time for self-reflection and healing from the heartbreak of divorce is necessary before you can move forward or you risk forming unhealthy attachment patterns. If you are getting divorced and can’t clean the crust from your past, you won’t be able to see through a clear lens.
Some practical steps include Christian therapy, journaling, faith, support groups like Divorce Care or church small groups, and embracing self-worth apart from romantic validation. Know that God created you on purpose for a purpose and that your identity is as as a Child of God and not "divorced" or "single."
Building a Life You Love—With or Without a Partner
When you shift focus from finding new love or forcing healing from divorce and instead learn to live in the moment and create a life that brings joy, meaning, and fulfillment, you will unearth flourishing possibilities. Some practical ways to invest in personal growth include:
Pursuing passions and career goals. Now you have time to reignite old passions you lost during marriage or discover new hobbies. You can expand your career, or if you're like me, you can start your own business.
Building strong friendships and a supportive community. You really do find out who your true friends are when you go through divorce. Hold onto these folks dearly. You may be tempted to hide or isolate, but we were designed for community--friends who can make you laugh or wise counselors who can help you process.
Traveling somewhere new. I decided to travel to a new place when I first was separated and then when my divorce was finalized. There is a certain independence you learn when you do this and gives you the confidence you may need after a divorce knowing you'll be okay. Your dreams don't have to die just because your marriage did.
Preparing for Healthy Love (If You Choose to Date Again)
Healthy people create healthy relationships, so if finding love again is something God calls you to, you will want to be fully healed and ready to invest in a new relationship.
You'll also need to recognize red flags vs. green flags in dating. Understanding these signals is crucial for navigating the complex landscape of romantic relationships.
Red flags are warning signs that indicate potential issues or unhealthy behaviors in a partner, which could lead to problems down the road. These may include controlling behavior, lack of communication, or distracting you from God. It's important to pay attention to these red flags early on, as ignoring them can lead to deeper emotional distress and complications in the relationship.
On the other hand, green flags are positive indicators that suggest a partner possesses healthy traits and behaviors that contribute to a strong and supportive relationship. Examples of green flags include open and honest communication, respect for boundaries, and a drawing you closer to God. Recognizing these green flags can help you feel more confident in your dating choices and encourage you to pursue relationships that are likely to be fulfilling, nurturing, and from God.
Being able to differentiate between red flags and green flags requires self-awareness and an understanding of your own values and needs in a relationship. It’s essential to reflect on past experiences and consider what you truly want in a partner. By developing this awareness, you can better identify the traits that align with your relationship goals and those that do not. Knowing how or why you ended up divorced, may be a good starting point.
Recognizing red flags and green flags is not just about spotting potential problems or affirming positive qualities; it's about fostering a deeper understanding of yourself and what you seek in a partner. This awareness can ultimately lead to more meaningful and satisfying connections in your dating life when you set relationship standards based on self-respect instead of the fear of being alone.
Singles Awareness Day Challenge if you're Divorced
Here are a few ways you can embrace this new post-divorce journey instead of feeling sad on a day like today.
Set (or reinforce) one emotional boundary.
Do something that brings you joy and fulfillment today.
Affirm your value and purpose beyond your relationship status.
"Singleness is not a season of waiting. It's a season of doing." - Lisa Bevere
If you are struggling during this new period of singleness and are looking for ways to find forgiveness, redemption, and renewal, you can buy my book Wings to Rise above Divorce.
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