Have you ever heard of the concept of a phoenix rising from the ashes? It's a powerful symbol of resilience. Maybe when you think of this concept, you envision a fantasy novel on display in a bookstore. Best-sellers abound in the popular and trending genre. Many covers have embers and ashes, prey and swords making the genre known. The imagery of rising above gives hope for renewal, and outside of the fantasy realm, this concept is also symbolized during the Easter season.
As we approach Lent, many Christians begin to think of the time leading up to the resurrection. A rebirth and renewal after everything seemed dead. While I'm not a fantasy, fiction writer, I am a Christian, non-fiction author and used a similar analogy in my book Wings to Rise above Divorce.
When I was going through my divorce, I prayed Isaiah 40:31 over and over: “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint” (NIV). These wings like that of a phoenix rising above the ashes are the ones God gives us to rise above trials like divorce and heartbreak.
The Adversity: A Life Shattered
When your marriage is in a crisis that ends in a devastating and painful divorce, your faith will be tested. This type of personal pain shakes the foundation of your faith making you question everything you may have believed and wondering thoughts such as "how could this happen to me?" or "I don't deserve this."
Divorce is a life-shattering experience. No matter if you wanted it or not, it's hostile or amicable, it still hurts. It's the death of something that once was alive. During Lent, we think of the painful journey and steps Jesus took leading to His sacrifice and death. While there's mourning and weeping, we know that joy comes in the morning and a resurrection awaits.
The emotional, physical, and spiritual toll you suffer during divorce can seem endless. You may wrestle with forgiveness, disappointment, and trust in God during your darkest moments.
When you have nothing else left to give and cannot feel any more pain, turn to God. Give Him your weak spots and your vulnerabilities, and let Him be your strength. He will give you the wings to rise above your pain, thorns, and ashes.
The Rise: Finding Strength in Brokenness
When you make the choice to fight for healing rather than letting pain and divorce define you, you are able to rise above. But doing this on your own is not easy--you need a supernatural force to help carry you when you cannot carry on. That strength can only be found in God.
Only God can give you the wings to rise above. Having people in your life who encourage you, check in on you, and can help you see the good again is so important. Never underestimate the value of a friendly ear or a smile when you’re at your lowest. When you feel hurt by a spouse, it’s hard to see anyone with a friendly ear or smile—or anything good in your future—but a friend or family member may be able to help you out.
Rely on your faith, God, and His provision to bring you a community of believers and wise counsel to help you heal on your journey back to strength and soaring. The courage you find when you rely on God changes your self-worth and how you view yourself after devastation like divorce. Your renewed sense of purpose turns that grip of brokenness into a major comeback.
The Lessons: Rising above Divorce
Through my own experience with divorce and when I'm leading divorce support groups, I've noticed there are lessons we can learn from this healing journey:
Resilience: Pain doesn’t have to be the end of your story.
Faith in the Fire: Trusting God, even when life doesn’t make sense.
Healing is a Process: Having boundaries and not being on a timetable.
Purpose in the Pain: How your struggles can become your greatest testimony.
Although some of your stories have heartache to them, when you share them, you are able to testify not only about what God did for you but also what He is doing for others. It gives hope that you are not alone, and being alone or feeling alone is the worst place to be when you are recovering from a divorce. I know it’s hard, but I also know that God keeps His promises, and it’s not too late for you to turn to Him and trust His wings to give you strength and to rise far higher than you ever imagined.
Pilots may earn their wings at the Air Force Academy, but God’s wings and love are the only ones able to rescue you from despair and clear a safe landing from a hurting heart. When you hit a dead end in a relationship, you can either stop and stay stuck there forever, or you can turn around and try it on your own, or you can look to God for His wings to rescue you and place you on the right path. That thirty-five-thousand-foot view with God as your pilot will look a whole lot better than doing an about-face and walking in the darkness and wilderness alone. Whatever your darkness or wilderness looks like—separation, divorce, or struggling in marriage—God has a plan and a flight path to get you there without unnecessary layovers and reroutes.
Lysa TerKeurst Books
As I mentioned above, I lead divorce support groups. During every cycle, without fail, Lysa TerKeurst comes up. Whether in a social media post, video, event, or one of her books, members are able to relate to her message. Because it's been a blessing to so many not only in my group but across the country, I wanted to share links to some of Lysa's books incase you haven't read any yet.
Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again.
It's Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered
Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You Are
You're Going to Make It: 50 Morning and Evening Devotions to Unrush Your Mind, Uncomplicate Your Heart, and Experience Healing
I Want to Trust You, but I Don't: Moving Forward When You’re Skeptical of Others, Afraid of What God Will Allow, and Doubtful of Your Own Discernment
Because I'm an author and reader, here are a few more books to choose from on a variety topics including recipes!
The Essential New York Times Cookbook: The Recipes of Record
Counting Miracles: A Novel: If you are a Nicholas Sparks fan.
Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones
First Lie Wins: Reese's Book Club: A Novel
Simple Air Fryer Cookbook with Pictures: Easy Recipes
The All New Ball Book Of Canning And Preserving: Over 350 of the Best Canned, Jammed, Pickled, and Preserved Recipes
Trader Joe's 5 Items or Less Cookbook: Easy & delicious recipes
Wings to Rise above Divorce: Finding Forgiveness, Redemption, and Renewal during Turbulent Separations (my book)
Note: I may receive commissions on qualifying purchases through Amazon links above.
Comments