Why real healing from divorce doesn’t come with a deadline

Has anyone ever told you that "you should be over it by now" after your divorce?

You should be over it by now.

They say it like grief has an expiration date. Like there’s a calendar alert for when the pain should politely pack up and leave.

But healing from divorce isn’t a deadline. It’s a process.

Telling someone to “get over it” is like slapping a Band-Aid on a broken leg and expecting them to run a marathon. It looks tidy on the outside — but underneath? Still fractured.

Here’s the truth no one tells you:

💔 You don’t “get over” a life you built.

💔 You don’t “move on” from the death of a dream without grieving it.

💔 You don't forget good times OR bad times easily.

💔 And you definitely don’t need to justify your healing timeline to people who were never in your shoes.

Divorce healing is not linear — it’s layered.

Some days you’ll feel strong and grounded. Other days you’ll hear a song, see a memory, or walk into a room and feel like you’ve been punched in the chest. That doesn’t mean you’re broken--it means you’re human. It means you loved, you lost, and you’re learning to live again.

Healing isn’t about erasing the past — it’s about rebuilding your life with wisdom from it.

So if no one has told you lately:

You’re allowed to take your time. You’re allowed to feel the waves when they hit. You’re allowed to heal on your own terms — no deadline, no guilt.

God doesn’t rush your healing. He meets you in the middle of it. And piece by piece, He restores what was shattered — not with a stopwatch, but with grace.

Here’s some practical tips for healing after divorce:

• Don’t rush.

• Don’t numb.

• Don’t pretend you’re fine if you’re not.

• Feel it.

• Write about it.

• Talk to someone who gets it.

• And above all, let grace lead the pace.

  
  

The goal isn’t to “get over it.” The goal is to grow through it — and come out whole.

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If you're struggling to understand your emotions during or after divorce, looking for someone else who has been where you are, or wondering what the future will look like, my book Wings to Rise above Divorce may be for you.